From an early age to high school, I was mentally abused and bullied. The bullying ended when my family moved to another city and I changed schools. By then, the damage had already been done. The mental abuse continued and still occurs occasionally from family members--you know, the people who are supposed to love you and take care of you.
But I'm a survivor--it's what I do. Hopefully, I can share tips that can help you get through your personal mental abuse from whoever is hurting you...
It has to start with love. You really do have to love yourself first. When you are able to accept who you are, and still love the person living inside your skin, you can actually begin to heal--even when the abuse is still happening. Love yourself, when no one else can. Love yourself to show the world you are a loveable person.
Stop punishing yourself. You were born to be YOU. You have no control over that. Punishing yourself for what you have no control over, isn't very wise, so stop it right now. You may not even know you're doing it. It's a simple thing to do. Look at your reflection, verbally, tell yourself you are worthy. You are a good person, you're smart, you're beautiful, and you have something within you that can make YOU shine bright. Stop punishing yourself and accept you as who you are.
Take what you know and improve on it. It's not changing who you are--it's taking what you are and making it better.
If you are still living with or around your tormentors--I know it's going to hurt, believe me, I know because I've been there. If I had someone who could be there, I don't think my life would be where it is today. I know the abuse wouldn't have been. Close your ears when you're around those people. Tell yourself, they are acting out of pain or jealousy, or there could be other reasons. Most people hurt others so they can be higher--makes them feel better by making someone else feel lower. Don't give them the satisfaction. Ignore them, put yourself in a situation that shows how great of a person you are. Smile, laugh, and be silly. Once the tormentors realize they can't hurt you anymore, they will stop and turn toward someone else.
That leads to another tip...If, when, you see tormentors "attacking" someone else, defend that person. For one, it boosts your self-esteem, AND it helps that person. You will gain a true friend on top of that.
Walk away from the negativity and surround yourself with positivity. Even if you're the only one making it.
When you are feeling low from the abuse, talk to someone. It doesn't have to be a doctor; it can be a friend, family member, neighbor, preacher, or anyone else you feel comfortable with talking about this. Praying can even help.
Focus on the things you love. Write a book, write a song, listen to music, read, take a walk, or whatever it is that makes you feel better.
When I was living through all of this, I didn't have all the information that I would need. I didn't think anyone actually cared about me (other than my grandmother). I did talk to counselors at my school, and it did help in the moment. I learned after surviving on my own that people did care and I was loved. I didn't know loving myself would actually help me. I was constantly told that loving yourself was a bad thing (people were making it out to be a sexual thing, when it isn't and shouldn't be considered that). Loving yourself is a crucial thing and the first step to loving someone else. If you can't love yourself, you should've expect someone else to love you, so that's where you have to start.
Find all the positive things about yourself and improve on them. When you see something about yourself that is negative, figure out why it is the way it is and try to change that. It won't be easy, nothing worth doing will be easy. And if you're lucky enough to have friends, ask them to help you. Ask your friends what they see in you--their opinion on your positive traits. You may not even know it exists, so don't be afraid to ask. Work on the areas in your life that need the help. Keep an open mind too.
Now, the floor is open. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this subject because it is something we need to talk about. It isn't going to go away until we face it and talk about it. We can make changes in our lives and maybe talking about it will push people into seeing what they're doing. Maybe if they see their faults, they will change. It won't happen over night, but nothing can. It will take work and believe me YOU are worth it!
#broken #survivor #survival #mentalabuse #bullies #makingfunofpeople #changingyourself #betruetoyou #loveyourself #begoodtoyou #makeithappen
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