I have been writing since I was eleven years old. I'm 48 now. Doing the math, I've been writing for 37 years. 37! I just can't believe it! It took me 20 years to see my first book published, so I've been writing professionally for 17 years, which is still a long time if you think about it. I've hit a lot of brick walls and other obstacles along the way. I've grown so much!
Because I'm a writer 24-7, it has affected my personal life as well, which I can honestly say I've grown a lot in that area of my life as well! Knowing we can't stand still through life, I bet all of us have grown in one way or another. We can talk, walk, run, take the stairs without help (well, some of us have returned to that part), and more. Growth is a big part of living.
My Writing Growth
Being only a child, when I began writing, my sentences were short and sloppy. There was no depth. It wasn't my fault, my vocabulary hadn't been built yet. I didn't know a lot of things. From there, there was only one direction to go and that's forward. You thought I was going to say up, didn't you? I read somewhere that as a writer, we don't want to be predictable. I did a lot of writing so I could learn to write better. I picked up a word or two along the way!
Writing, for me, was like breathing. I couldn't go without it or I'd die. As I've gotten older, it still runs true for me. Probably more. And my imagination was always crazy. It always ran in the background like some software do on a computer. That means, it never shut off. That runs true today. As an adult, it has gone from "crazy" to "OMG crazy". Some days, it's on the mature side, some days it's a little creepy, and some days I have no idea what to call it. I don't know how I do it, but I have a little control over it now. I can "will" it for my needs. I call that crazy. If you had told my 11-year-old version that I could do that, I would tell you "you're nuts lol. Aint nobody going to train my imagination." Well, that imagination is still wild, yet tame. Kind of odd, I think, but I won't complain!
I was never good in English class, so I thought I would struggle writing my books. You know what? When I pulled out those pages to write, it was like I turned into someone else. Completly someone else. My everyday life didn't affect this girl. I had a lot of practice with that. If I moved to a group of people, I would become more like them, hiding my true self. I thought it was a normal thing. I learned more by doing that and was able to create people in my brain from it. Those people still reside there and poke their heads out occasionally. They tell me, hey, remember me? I want to be a character in your book! So I turn them into characters, naming them when I'm ready to write the story. So, when I sit down to write, it's like I shut off Amber and turn into those characters. Depression along with it. If only I could write 24-7 lol. I mean, the physical part, where I can shut Amber off.
30 years ago, I didn't know about research like I do today. I know nothing about certain things. Luckily, I've got Google and I go to the site and search for things like terms. While, I personally know nothing about a topic I can appear smart and give details about the topic that I wouldn't normally be able to do. That's growth!
30 years ago, I didn't know how to juggle everything. It was an "either" "or" kind of thing. Today, I'm having my cake and eating it too. I learned how to balance my writing world and personal world where I can do everything on my plate, still maintain my sleep pattern (that was always haywire), and be able to have a normal conversation with a total stranger when I need to.
30 years ago, I wrote by hand and typed things up. Today I use a laptop and store everything in one place using different files. It keeps me more organized, which is something I do enjoy!
My personal life has helped me become a better writer. I watch people (sometimes for fun) and learn how people talk to each other. I learned how people can be judgemental of others, and how it can cause trouble. I learned how it affects them. This has made me more compassionate toward others. I learned how everyone has their own point of view, which helps me with my characters.
My Personal Growth
Just as my personal life has affected my writing, the reverse is also true. My writing has helped my personal life big time. I am more open-minded (this is not a sexual term). I say that because, when shared with other people around me, they assume that's what I mean. Then, I have to explain, "no, it means my mind is open". I understand both sides. I can see "what isn't there". Then I have to explain what I mean by that.
I've learned that people outside of the writing world are not the same as the people in the writing world. It is so hard to go between them. Normal people don't understand terms like "open-mind", "my imagination took over", "there are people in my head", etc. I've had to learn to explain things or just not say them. That's hard!
30 years ago, I was so shy. Today, I'm not. Not really. I still have my moments. Starting a conversation with someone new is still hard at times. I owe a lot to my husband. He did so much to pull this woman out of me. I was 19 when we met, so I was still a kid. I still have volume control issues and he is always reminding me to tone it down. When I get excited, I tend to be louder. Sometimes that excitement grabs ahold of me and doesn't let go. He knows that.
30 years ago, I hid behind my writing. Today, I let it shine. But I don't have to hide behind it anymore. I go out. I hang out. It can be fun sitting around and talking to other people, throw out a joke or two, share a prank. Yes, Billy (my husband) has me doing those too. Well, I do them on my own, but it's his fault lol. Took me a while to get there, but now it's got people laughing. Not laughing at me like when I was a kid. It's totally different. I feel better about myself.
There is so much more, but I've shared the bigger things. I know I have more growth ahead. I still struggle with some things, and I know I will improve on them. That's what growth does. You learn your limits and how to push them. Sometimes, you push so hard that you break them. That can be a beautiful thing!
How have you grown?
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