Life has its way of throwing curve balls when you least expect it. A death in the family is never planned, cancer can sneak up on you, and sometimes the little joys in life like a new baby can send you on a loop (that's a good thing depending on how you look at it). Don't worry, there hasn't been a death in my family for a little while, I don't have cancer, and no one's expecting anytime soon--I don't think.
But it can happen. You can never be prepared when these things happen either. Even if you think you were prepared, actually going through it is always different.
I've been through a lot over the years. I've experienced things and witnessed things I wouldn't wish on my enemies (okay, I don't have any of those, but still). I touched a dead person to feel for a pulse. That was creepy, but I didn't react like I thought I would. For one, I never saw the guy when he was alive. Let me tell you what happened. My husband and I work for a hotel, cleaning rooms. I was with him when he was checking on someone who was due to check out. No one answered when he knocked on the door but the door wouldn't open. The manager was there, so he asked him to open the door for us. He did. The guy was laying on the bed and it looked like he was passed out. Billy (my hubby) called out to him. No answer. He asked me to nudge him to wake him up. I walked in quietly (didn't want to spook the guy) and I shook his knee. He was fully dressed and laying across the bed as he fell backward from a sitting position. The body felt stiff. I leaned over just enough to feel his neck for a pulse. No pulse. Billy dialed 9-1-1 while I rushed downstairs to get the paperwork for when the police arrived. He died of an overdose. The needle was still in his arm. We didn't notice that until the police and EMT came. My husband was shaken up over it. For some odd reason, I wasn't. I hadn't experienced anything like that before. I mean, I've seen dead people before, but never touched one. I did wash my hands after that though. The police took our statements.
For the first time in my life, I had to stick someone with a needle. My husband is a diabetic and we have to check his glucose level on a daily basis now. The first time I poked him with a needle, I pushed it in too deep and hurt him. That freaked me out a little. It's not as bad now, but I still get a weird feeling just before pricking his finger. I keep asking if he's okay when I do. I don't want to hurt him. I poked my finger too, just to check it. I am borderline diabetic. I will find out in August if I still am. Crossing my fingers that I'm not because it would suck if I have to do that to my finger daily too. I don't want to say goodbye to soda either lol. I have limited my intake of soda, so that will hopefully make a difference.
The highs of life can jump out of nowhere too and take you by surprise. I do like those. My oldest grandchild just started school and she's loving it. A lot of the things she says takes us by surprise proving to us just how smart she is. Those moments, I wish I could freeze time and cherish it for a little while longer. The moment comes and goes, leaving me speechless and in awe. Like when she says we're not old. To her, we should be lol. And the way she says "wow" when she's excited or surprised by something--I could never capture it perfectly though I did try in my books. She inspired the MC in the Fairytale Adventures series. It's the only way I know how to capture her just right. Now she can live "forever".
Growing up getting bullied/teased forces you to look at things a little differently. You feel unworthy of love so when it happens to you, you feel like it's a mistake. I've had to overcome that feeling on so many different levels. Experiencing homelessness also has an effect. You learn to appreciate everything you have and become a minimalist type of person. I believe I love harder as a result. I'm more open because of it. I accept and forgive more. As I said, life has a way of turning you into the people you become. It can be amazing or it can be a nightmare. You have to take it one day at a time and learn to enjoy the little things. When you can.
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